Today I only practiced for 70 minutes. But it was deep, and nourishing. It got me thinking...how can I use yoga to heal the entire earth, and those who live upon it? It seems like there are too many choices...which way do I go? I will let that go unanswered, and go about my day-to-day living. I am grateful for my yoga practice, though it has oh so long to go (and I'm grateful for that too).
This morning I did not do my asana practice...I slept in after a restless night. I've let go of all expectations in my life. We'll see where this leads.
Lately I've been so very much into a slow, meditative, and loosening practice that I've lost a bit of strength in my arms and back. So this morning I came up with a flow that brings attention to upper body strength and bhandas as well as continuing to loosen me up. I was quite pleased with this new sequence. Hopefully I can remember it!Jivamukti Yoga, "practices for liberating body and soul." I would love to practice jivamukti yoga, and teach it. I love how it focuses on study & understanding of the history, etc of yoga as well as promoting a deep asana practice. Too bad there's no studios anywhere near me. They have studios in NYC, Toronto, Munich, London, and Charleston. I hope to do a teacher training through them one day. For now, I'll read the book, and do as much on my own as possible.
Tomorrow, Friday, I will be driving with my husband to Salt Lake City to attend a fundraiser we helped put together to help SUWA fight legal battles against the BLM who is auctioning off land to big oil business.
This morning I realized I was grateful for my inflexibility in some poses. There are some poses that come naturally to me, others that don't. I am grateful that I don't just fall easily into every posture...where would be the journey in that? I was grateful to be tight this morning while working in Hanumanasana...it felt good to sit and breathe, and to feel the muscles softening over a few minutes time...until I finally got it. I loved that little journey!
This morning I woke up late (8:00 AM) because of a restless night. I took my time getting up, crossed everything off my to-do list, then started my yoga practice. Usually I put a time limit on my practice, but today I decided I would practice until I felt full. And, oh how full my soul is! When I entered into my pranayama practice near the end I felt very strongly that I am not the same person I was yesterday...that everyday I am a new person, free to be great, beautiful, and compassionate. Now, everyday I will look forward to the new person I am--able to make this a beautiful world.
Since my last post, my practice has been so very distracted. I have been so concerned with the future. My practiced has showed this. I have often lost track of where I was in a sun salutation, and my practice was shortened to one hour instead of 2.5 because I couldn't wait to get to my "to-do" list for the day. I filled my life with too many good things...to the point to where things weren't happening as slowly and deliberately as I'd like. So today I start anew...crossing things off of my "to-do" list without even attempting them...the only thing on my list now is to "simplify." Hope to be blogging here daily again.
I've been reading through this little book for the past few days. I'm hoping to get some insight on how to break some of my not-so-great habits in life. There are some passages that are more clear than others, but I look forward to the journey this presents. Here's little taste:
Today I needed a new beginning, a clean slate. So I spent an hour and a half slowly going through the ritual of suryanamaskar A--with some little variations as my body instructed. I took long, deliberate breaths, and closed my eyes. I loved raising my arms to the skies in gratitude, and bowing to the earth with awe. I am seeking a new way to approach the things I am oh so passionate about. This morning was refreshing. Now, if only I could have an entire week of ritual.
Lately I have been trying something new in my yoga practice: left side first. It sounds simple, but it really changes the whole feeling. It seems more introspective for sure. Try it out in your own flow. See what happens.
Yoga is becoming more and more something I love to do either alone or in small, intimate groups. I feel more freedom to invite reverence, sacredness, and joy. I'm really enjoying practicing at home by myself, with my husband, or with a friend.
This morning it was raining. I opened the window and did my morning practice as I listened to that beautiful sound. I wish I had that accompaniment more often. Love rain.
It seems to be more about transistions these days for me, rather than the poses themselves. The dance between each posture is fascinating to me. It is in the transitions that we find grace and our fullest potential. I love the movement and the fluidity of the spaces between. I'd love a class that focused more on the transitions than the poses. Some day, yes?
I am giving up yoga classes that break me down to exhaustion. I found in my yoga practice this morning that I am stronger and more present when I can have a practice focused on endurance rather than complete fatigue. I can hold poses longer, and balance like I've never balanced. It really is all about slowing down, the breath, and the bandhas.
"We need to learn to make rest a part of our practice, and we need to take that rest long before we feel exhausted or frustrated." -Rolf Gates
Bandhas. My practice as of late has neglected the bandhas for the most part. There is some attention given to uddiyana, but not enough. I need to bring back my bandha practice. When I really use them it is only then that I've been able to float into challenging balances. I really feel that no matter how much muscle I build I won't be able to have a graceful yoga practice without the bandhas.
This morning after my practice I spoke briefly with a dear friend about the beauties of practicing on one's own. I mentioned that I often like to practice at home with classical music in the background...especially the music of Estonian compser, Arvo Part. My favorite album is Tabula Rasa with Gil Shaham on the violin. It's intense. But what I love most are the points of hesitation, the brief moments of silence before the storm. Whenever I compliment my practice with Arvo Part I am bound to have some sort of profound insight into my practice, my heart, the earth, and the universe. Try it.
I love that part of the Ashtanga tradition is the belief that ancient holy men "invented" the yoga flow to strengthen them and open them up so that they could sit comfortably and with ease as they meditated. I love doing Ashtanga in the morning and ending with an extra long period of meditation and pranayama. There's nothing like it.
After three months of going to a studio just about everyday, I am finding that I am longing for my own practice again. I need the freedom to explore and to ask questions in my own practice. So I will be cancelling my studio membership for the time being (and saving some $$ while I'm at it!)
If you haven't heard via my other blog, I've got myself a job teaching yoga. It really is a miracle. Amazing how moments of light immediately follow moments of doubt. I will start teaching a couple time a week, and then as more people start coming I will be able to teach full time. It's at a health & wellness spa, and they're just beginning to bring yoga into the scheme of things. I'm excited about this job because it will allow me to teach in a way that is intuitive and personal. It will allow me to continue to learn and grow as I teach. Blessed be.
Last night I did my own yoga practice at home. It's been too long since I've done this. I've been going everyday to a studio. After last night, I think I will do more personal practicing at home...there is nothing that compares to solitary exploration.
I just got news that Syl will doing an encore Thai Yoga workshop in September! I was so bummed to miss it this month because I was already signed up for the one I am currently in. I'm hoping that the stars will align and I will be able to attend. This would be a fantastic learning experience!
Yesterday was a holy, faith-renewing day for Hindus. The day is Guru Purnima. It is the day that you honor your guru(s)...your teachers. It can be anyone who you have learned greath things from: a mother, a friend, a teacher, etc. It is also a day to honor the lineage of great teachers all the way back to the ancients and those who took time to pass on tradition. I was introduced to this day by a wonderful yoga teacher, Gangotri. She led us through some chanting and kirtan. When she sang it was so other-worldly. Truly, sound is the quickest way to the divine.
I can't go anywhere without hearing about Eckhart Tolle and his fix-everything books. I've been hearing about him for over a year now, but the past few months it seems everyone is talking about him at all times. I hesitantly bought The Power of Now book last week and have read the first fifty pages. It's good. Why the hesitancy? It feels too much like a fad. Yes, I'm being way too judgemental here. What I've read so far is good. He words some things very nicely and with clarity. I guess I am uncomfortable with the unquestioning attitude that everyone seems to have. It is a bit irksome that if Tolle says it, it is truth. I think that a lot of what he says is truth...at least it feels that way to me. But there are some things that don't sit as well. How come no one else is questioning? I know a lot of you have read his stuff...what do you think about him? What do you think about my thoughts on him?
When it comes to Yoga these days I'm feeling like I just want to watch it. I want to read words from my yoga books, and not worry about memorizing anything. I want to attend my workshop and just absorb and observe...not worrying about "performing". This thought is very liberating.
I am feeling very nervous for my Anatomy workshop that starts tomorrow. Why? It's only a workshop...I'm there to learn, right? My ego has kicked into hyper-gear, and I'm worried I'll look like an amateur. Duh. That's what I am, right? I've only been practicing yoga for 3.5 years. I did my first teacher training only two years ago. Of course, I'm not going to know as much as the people who are hosting the workshop. They're there to teach me, and I'm there to learn. I've got to let this nervousness flow through me.
I tried a new yoga studio yesterday here in Sacramento. It's All Yoga. It is a lovely little studio. I felt very welcomed and felt that I would be taken care of during class. This studio emits love like crazy. The studio I have been going to most regularly, Zuda, is good in its own way too. One word for Zuda would be "invigorating". I think I like variety in my practice though. So I think I'll have to go to both regularly now. Looking forward to it.
This weekend I decided to go to a Saturday morning class last minute. Glad I did. I talked with the owner of the studio, and they are in need of some more help. She wants to meet with me this week to see if they want to hire me to work for them! Hooray! I don't have to work in an office afterall! I am seeing that my patience is paying off.
I have cut back my 2.5 hour a day practice to only 1 hour. Why? Because it is oh so hot here and the air is filled with smoke from forest fires. It's suffocating. I think my body needs some down time. Hopefully this heat and smoke don't stay too long.
I just purchased my own copy of the Bhagavad Gita, finally. I have read excerpts and commentaries, but never the text in full. I am going to have it read cover to cover by next Tuesday.
For the last few days I woke early to do yoga on a dock at Hayden Lake in northern Idaho. It was truly peaceful and awe-some at the same time. It was so great to feel and hear the water so near. To hear birds singing and water tapping the dock. I hope to do yoga on a dock more often.
We're going away for a few days to northern Idaho. Should be refreshing to breathe some mountain air, and feel the cool lake water. See you next week.
The Ujjayi breath is the heart of a yoga practice. It calms the mind, and helps in meditation. For me, the inhale is usually more shallow than the exhale. But when I really concentrate on the inhale I find that I have more strength and will power to get through challenging postures and flows. Truly the breath is like ocean waves. Think of when the waves come into the shore, they have great power and force. When they recede they completely relax, but they relax with power as well. So next time you do your yoga practice really pay attention to the power of inhaling and exhaling.
"Yoga is the study of balance, and balance is the aim of all living creatuers; it is our home." - from Meditations From the Mat written by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison.
I just signed up for a Holistic Anatomy 50-hour workshop at Zuda Yoga here in Sacramento. It will be taking place the last two weekends of July. Can hardly wait!
Savasana is the most ignored posture, but it is also the most important. I find that all too often I attend a class where we work our mind, body, and spirit very hard only to take a two-minute savasana, if that. I like the advice I got from Syl that for every 20 minutes of asana practice we should take a 5-minute savasana. That means if I am in an hour class that I should take a 15-minute savasana at the end of the class. This pose is a place for the body (and mind and spirit) to re-align itself and to absorb all the work that has just been done. I truly believe that we practice yoga in order to meditate and slow down. As a teacher, I also understand that there is an un-spoken pressure from students...many people are uncomfortable lying still for soooo long. We feel that people will get anxious and not come back because they were lying down for too long. I also think that many people simply overlook the benefits of savasana. They'd rather spend their "workout" time doing situps or backbends. My vote is for longer savasanas.
My mom loves to read the paper. But there's something she loves even more: clipping out certain articles and mailing them to me. She mailed me this very story.
Remember my first fall? I have finally pegged it as the culprit for my incredibly sore deltoids. Since my fall out of handstand I have barely been able to do chaturanga...I'm lucky if I can do it with my knees on the ground for support. So I must have overlooked my shouler injury at first because I was taking care of my nose bleed. It's been two weeks since that fateful day. It's hard to be patient. I want to do chaturanga oh so badly, but just when I think I'm feeling better I give it a go, but I end up wincing with pain. This is what I am constantly telling my students to look for: pain versus discomfort. Chaturanga can be very uncomfortable when you are fatigued or just learning, but this is a sharp pain I am experiencing...no matter how energized I feel.
So for now I will work on practicing patience.
The first yoga class I ever went to was a Astanga Vinyasa class at It's Yoga in Provo, UT. I was a faithful student there for 1.5 years before I did my first teacher training with them. During our training we were privileged to have a couple days with the founder of It's Yoga (in San Francisco), Larry Schultz.
Last night in class I hit my first ever away-from-a-wall handstand. I was so shocked to be up that I didn't know what to do...then I started thinking too hard...then I started freaking out...then I felt myself falling, but didn't know how to do it gracefully...so I fell on my face. Nose Bleed. Embarassment. Bruised Knee. Bruised Elbow. Empathy.
So I know there's a lot of you out there who want to start doing yoga. Why haven't you started? Are yoga studios intimidating with their handstands and toe-touches? Do you feel that you have to be flexible or stronger than you are to do yoga? What is holding you back?
Before I moved to Sacramento I was confident I could find a teaching job within a couple of months. Now that I'm here I'm feeling a little doubtful. As I've researched all the yoga studios in the area I realize what an infant I am in the world of yoga. Most teachers have at least a decade of experience under their belts as well as multiple teacher trainings (I've done a measly two).
Dharma: it's what you were born to do. As my husband and I are about to move to a new place, I have come to terms with that my purpose here is to teach yoga. So I've given up the office jobs! No more will I let the fear of failure rule my decisions. Office jobs were so predictable and safe. That's old new now. I'm looking forward to my new life as 100% yoga instructor. This will be better than I ever could have imagined.
Today I am finalizing my project for my Tai Chi Yoga Movement class. I will be teaching the class about the doshas. I only get 20 minutes...which is a HUGE problem. I'll just do what I can. Understanding the doshas is an integral part of Ayurvedic medicine. Air, Fire, Water/Earth are the universal elements that combine to create the doshas. When the doshas are not in equilibrium disease will manifest in the body. Through our life practices we can bring the doshas into harmony to avoid disease. Each dosha corresponds with an element: Kapha (water, earth), Vata (Air), and Pitta (Fire). Our diet, yoga, and daily activities can harmonize or throw the doshas out of wack. I hope to continue to learn more about the doshas. In another life I would be an Ayurvedic doctor.
